From my car, I sent over an encouraging wave at those two little cuties and made eye contact with their mom. In that moment, something changed for me. What I saw was so much more than what I had judged. I saw the exhaustion of life weighing on her. I saw the agony of the unknown future and the fear of doing it all wrong. I saw me. I wanted so much to get out of my car and go over to her. Let her know that I see her, as a woman, a human. Hug her and tell her it was all going to be okay.Read More
Are you sick of feeling like shit?
Sick of shitty advice that you don't know what to do with?
Sick of being depressed and anxious?
Sick of waiting on a dream to come true to start your life?
Yeah, me too. At least that was me a few years ago. Lost in a day dream and the struggle of lack. I didn't have what I wanted. Life wasn't on my side. I spent so much time partying with my pity on the inside, it's no wonder I was miserable on the outside too.
Stress is such an interesting beast, especially when it comes to fertility challenges. There has been no other time in my life that I felt stress in the way that I did in the midst of our fertility struggles. It is like being on a roller coaster ride that you can't get off. It ebbs and flows. Good moments and bad. Even more realistic.. you can be out on the town with your ladies and laughing your face off when some random occurrence steals you right away from your reprieve of joy. Sinking you back into that dark knowing of your brokenness.
I am always telling my clients, “You are NOT broken!” “You did nothing to deserve this or bring this upon yourself.” The cold hard truth is, even if you know that to be true, it is a hard thing to truly feel. Especially when you are reminded each month that clearly, things are not working the way that you were expecting them too.
It wasn't until my daily practice changed that I got my life back. It had become clear to me that my desire to hold my dream baby in my arms had become an unhealthy thought. It was almost as if I could feel the dis-ease coursing through my body any time I conjured up my plans and wishes. I could feel my health declining despite the fact that I was doing all the right things to improve my fertility.
It no longer shocks me to realize the power of our minds. You can be the healthiest person when it comes to food and exercise. But talk shit in your head and always have a negative mindset, and the reality will be a clear picture of atrophy and decay. That is not a picture of the most fertile soil is it?
I still coach my clients on the importance of nutritious foods and moving the body for blood flow and more. However, I now spend way more time focusing on the awareness of emotional health. To add one more obstacle to the situation, those of us who are in the midst of fertility challenges are generally amazing fibbers.
Q: “How are you?”
A: “Fine!” And always the redirect: “How are YOU?!”
Q: “Are you feeling ok?” (And the unspoken, “You look rough.”)
A: Truth = Well, I cried all night last night because I got my period... again.
Real life response: “Yeah. I just didn't sleep well last night.”
Reality check: WE HAVE TO BE GOOD AT LYING! There are 12 months in a year. Can you imagine anyone 'complaining' about the same thing every. single. month. For multiple years?! Yeah, I didn't think so. So we learn to fabricate. We are masters at redirecting. It's really got nothing to do with the support from our friends and family. It's not that there is a lack. It's that it is one of the hardest things to explain to someone who hasn't been through it.
So talk about stress! You spend almost every day aware if you are ovulating or if you have early pregnancy symptoms vs early period symptoms. You have a dream of a life time that is not coming true and you have no idea what to do about that. If you decide you want to do something about that, everything costs thousands of dollars. Your relationship is shaky because this is consuming you and it's hard to have a conversation where it doesn't show up in some way, shape, or form. And to top it off, you likely have some nasty physical symptoms that you deal with on monthly basis. So... tell me again how I should just not stress about it?!
I share all of this with you because I want you to know that I see you. The real you! I want you to know that it can and it does get better. AND I want to share with you how to really deal with the stress:
Build a new daily routine:
+Your #1 goal and concern is: YOU!
+What makes you happy? What makes you laugh? Make a list: Every single day, do MORE of those things.
+Take your mind off of what ISN'T happening. Spend more time appreciating what IS.
I love using a gratitude journal. Every morning when I wake up I list off three things that I have so much appreciation for. Every night when I go to bed I choose one thing to describe in great detail about why I love it in my life. This practice alone can start to shift your mindset.
+Whenever your despair enters the picture, take a full 30-60 seconds to truly witness it and honor it. No more stuffing. Feel it. Allow it to move through you. And then... R E L E A S E it. Deep breath in, and on the exhale, let it all go.
None of this means that you will no longer have shitty days. That is just unrealistic. The goal is to have less and less of them. To have more and more of joy filled and peaceful days, or even moments. Change your mind and you will change your life. Will this get you pregnant? Maybe. Maybe not. But it WILL ensure that you don't lose yourself or the other loves of your life while you wait.
I am here for you. To listen to your story. To share advice. To offer suggestions. To talk you through it. To be a shoulder to cry on. I am here rooting you on. Forever hopeful and full of belief that it will be your turn...
All the baby dust!
Are Heavy Metals Weighing Down Your Fertility?
I can remember the first time I heard about our body storing heavy metals (insert snort laugh). I mean, come on, really?! Hey, ya don't know what ya don't know. I have since realized that our bodies are these fantastical machines. But they are definitely susceptible to the lives we choose to lead. The reality is, aside from living in a bubble, we are going to encounter things on the daily that could potentially challenge our health. Some of these things are dang near impossible to avoid. Or it would be a radical inconvenience to eliminate. There are heavy metals and toxins and chemicals that are hard on the systems of our body hidden in so many things that we believe to be safe. Food we put in our body and products we put on our skin (our largest organ – hint hint). Items we choose to clean with or pretty smells that we love to think of as harmless.
All it takes is a little time and a little effort. At the very least you may have that moment of 'hmmmm – chemicals not good'. An intuitive thought that even without any real research is worth listening to. Or you can take it a little further and see if you can find any articles and/or studies that speak to you.
Research has shown that heavy metals can indeed interfere with our fertility. For one, they have a tendency to accumulate in our vital organs. Meaning that our organs are impacted from functioning at their optimal level. Also, these metals get in the way of the absorption of other vital minerals that our body requires.
What are these metals (a few of them anyway) and where can we find them?
+Aluminum = deodorant, cosmetics, tap water, cookware, toothpaste, baking powder
+Arsenic = laundry detergent, bug spray, pesticides, well water
+Lead = makeup, hair dye, organ meats
+Mercury = body powders, fabric softeners, paints, grains, seafood
So what's a mama in the making to do?
+Be your own advocate! Know what you are putting in and on your body. Do your research. Be vigilant.
+Eliminate what you can, where you can. It is pretty much impossible to remove all exposure, but a little bit here and a lot a bit there, IS going to make a difference.
+To detox or not to detox? There are plenty of natural ways to support your body to detox heavy metals... MORE CLEAN WATER! However, IF you decide to consider a heavy metal detox be sure you are working with a health practitioner that knows what's up. The last thing you want is some free roaming heavy metals just floating around your body that are not being eliminated.
Detox or not, you can choose more wisely starting today.
Get familiar with available resources such Environmental Working Group or EWG.org. They have tons of fantastic information and product reviews. Check out their Skin Deep page for home care and beauty care product information at www.EWG.org/skindeep. Be sure to check in regularly because products change their formulations all the time.
Another great resource and one of my personal faves is the free app, Think Dirty. They have rated more than 1 million beauty care products on levels such as allergens and organ toxicity. So much stellar information, IF you are willing to access it.
Be willing to get informed. Be willing to make some changes and try new things. If nothing changes - - NOTHING CHANGES.
You got this!
Shhhhh... can you hear it? You don't hear that?! Your body... it is talking to you RIGHT now!
What is your body trying to tell you? Let's see if we can catch some snippets of that conversation to get a fertile boost!
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